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21 April 2009 @ 04:48 pm
i do.
i really believe that i do.

but she has a girlfriend.
who she supposedly loves.
and we've been best friends since early childhood..
and she wouldnt want me...

but she seems to sometimes...
she does mention how we're perfect for each other,
and that whole 'if we werent such good friends...'

but other times..
she ignores me.
doesnt seem to want to be near me..
we used to spend every moment together..
now its like she doesnt care.

i dont know what to do.
01 April 2009 @ 10:00 pm
i feel awful.
they're all out there, everyone i considered a 'best friend'.
theyre having fun, and moving along fine without me.
They've never needed me. They don't care.
I'm scared over the heart problems i'm having,
causing panic attacks,
and thus, more problems.
they dont car.
I'm killing myself, and they dont care.
I'm fucking dying, and they dont care.

well, i dont either.
they'll all be sorry soon enough.

or maybe they wont.
maybe when i die,
it'll be like i never existed in the first place.
i cant stand this anymore.
why wont anyone help me?
05 February 2009 @ 07:44 am
Which of the seven deadly sins—sloth, greed, lust, gluttony, anger, envy, and pride—are you most likely to commit?
shit, I'm most likely to commit a few of the sins.
Sloth - when i'm depressed and lethargic
Lust - Im 16.
Gluttony - when i binge eat. :/
envy - all the damn time. i'm so envious of everyone...
anger - it happens.
04 February 2009 @ 10:00 am
Happy birthday, A. A. Milne! Not coincidentally, it's also Winnie the Pooh Day. Which resident of Pooh Corner do you identify with the most?
I think i'd identify most with Eeyore. Go figure, right.

I am though, just by nature, gloomy and pessimistic.
I'm also really quiet, and i dont expect others to like me.
I have awful luck, and all my friends around me seem dysfunctional,
but happy,
and they all have the ability to make things a litle better,
so i can atleast force a smile.

02 December 2008 @ 11:39 am
and book recommendations?

i'm a bookworm,
and im running out of books.
20 November 2008 @ 09:34 pm
Glut"ton*y\, n.; pl. Gluttonies. [OE. glotonie, OF. glotonie, gloutonnie.] Excess in eating; extravagant indulgence of the appetite for food; voracity.
19 November 2008 @ 11:27 am

–adjective 1. not sufficient; lacking in what is necessary or required: an insufficient answer.
2. deficient in force, quality, or amount; inadequate: insufficient protection


–adjective 1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.


–adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull.
2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question.
3. tediously dull, esp. due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party.
4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio.


1. very unattractive or unpleasant to look at; offensive to the sense of beauty; displeasing in appearance.
2. disagreeable; unpleasant; objectionable: ugly tricks; ugly discords.
3. morally revolting: ugly crime.
06 November 2008 @ 09:11 pm
about time i updated.
he's creeping up in my mind.
but i swear, i wont talk to him.
ever again.
it's done.
he doesnt care.
he never cared.

in other news, my goal for this marking period is straight As, maybe As and Bs.
I'm sick of being suck a failure, especially with the grades.
I want to get into a halfway decent college.
the only classes i know i have to work on are:
Geometry, which shouldnt be too difficult,
and English, which is harder, not because the work is hard (it isnt), but because of the damn projects and presentations.
but I SWEAR i will do better this marking period.
everything will be perfect.
i'll reach my goal by January,
i'll have good grades,
and maybe,
just maybe,
things will be a little better.

i need a job.
Current Mood: MANATEE.
10 June 2008 @ 09:09 pm